Dunno..

It aint normal for me to update my blog almost everyday, but it just feels like the only way i can express myself and all, cuz im just afraid that when i express it in real life, people will start judging, but i know people have been judging me for a long time, even now, so im not that worried, just keep it to yourself don't have to tell me no matter how bad it is, i lost 2 people in a year, that really is a big bummer.. and i know they've moved on and im not surprised so it just tells me that life sometimes suck, and this year im actually being such a bitch, yeah i know it myself, owh btw, ignore the post down there its just me trolling xD i would never tell who i trust, and i was just curious on how many people will get mad at me, my curiousity is bigger than the universe so it dont be surprise if i hurt some people with my curiousity, its just me, not surprised if alot of people are mad at me, it aint surprising, mom gets mad everyday so its just like a breath of fresh air aint nothing so special about it

realize i've done some things wrong, alot of things i guess, so i am sorry, it just goes to show that some people have really been messing with my zen this past few days, family specially, mom dad, aunty all stressing about SPM, and breaking up with her seemed like it was just yesterday, it still hurts, it comes and goes, but its not that bad, its good to remember the times we had, makes me smile once in a while, which is rare these days, rarely smile even if you did see me having a big smile on my face, aint meaning im smiling on the inside,

i know i wasnt such a good bf to you.. always missed the times you were crying, and you were alone, still regret being so angry at UK, and always scolding you, and even i didnt know when u cried, right now im real dizzy and im real tired and im gonna play some games now to make me relax, feel like im gonna puke any second, i found my dinosaur bottle, and thing im gonna bring it to school, today when i came back i looked at lucky feet and he seemed so sad, guess when his emotions are like mine.. just finished add maths, gonna hang my clothes in a while

so to the people that are angry at me, go on being angry you can even bitch about me if you want, i don't mind, just don't tell me in the face cuz ill give you one punch, no matter girl or boy.. well goodnight, and whoever is reading this, HAI :J

Fact :

People i dont trust :
-Everyone cept the following
(i) Acap
(ii) Harith
(iii) Edz (he can be a bitch sometimes but its okay)
(iv) Hazman
(v) Ariff
(vi) Aaron
(vii) Joyen (Dont you fucking judge me, if you are, then dont read this)
--------- NO ONE ELSE -----------

One of the reasons if your not in the list cuz thats just the way it is, cant trust anyone anymore, even these people o so, i dont tell em anything, cept top 3, well not everything... just that, these guys were there they didnt bother if i was sad, if i broke up, if my grandfather died, my mom in car crash o so, they don't care, they would cheer the fuck out of me, and give me all sorts of funny shit, i owe them >_> just cuz i dont trust you, doesnt mean your not my friend, AND YOU as in everyone, don't read this wrongly noob, just the way it is, its my way, so if u don't like my way, then fine, its just me, dont fucking judge who i am, judge urself before you do...

I really don't know whos my friend and who do i let my heart out on emotions, its boiling inside me i guess ill just keep it in for awhile or maybe a period of time or maybe forever.. don't get me wrong, there are loads of people who were there for me.... were... now they strangers.. met a friend at mcd, ignored me.. nvm lah, just let it be zayd.. just let it be, life aint perfect, so.. ill do what i always do, keep it in, and act nice to everyone (:

The tables are turned..

You know ah today ah, fuish, damn bad mood when i found out lah, its just like shit... til i found this :

I WAS LIKE!! THE FUCK MAN!! THE FUCK!! WHAT IS THIS SHIT!!!!... damn almost fell off my chair laughing xDD damn.. well... bad thing is, gonna avoid talking to people now >_> but meh, dunnow lah PEACE OUT!!!

Vanilla Twilight

The song that has held so many of my memories, all the bad ones, all the good ones, all the happy ones, and all the sad ones, especially form 3.... haih

I know, and don't say that i don't, just cuz i'm not there when i heard it, i still got people telling me whats going on around, and no, i'm not mad, ill just let it be, like i said, SPM.. SPM.. SPM.. Really wanna get that scolarship, so i can join my sister up there, at the northern hemisphere, yeah its sad to leave friends behind, but its the price to pay, when u want to succeed in life, and i wont forget 'em always got facebook, and always got calls and visits.. I'm going to sleep in a while, gazing through my memory box in my mind.....

Headlines...

I know havent been a good bf and all.. and im sorry i ended it by texting.. i wanna say all these stuff but i cant, cuz it doesnt matter any more... sigh.. i just wanna die.. emotions get the best of me.. now im just, playing with a friend to just calm myself down my gut feels like its contracting inside itself so badly really havent been this sad in a long time, but no, i dont expect u to text me like usual, and im not surprised, so guess i wont text u in a while, i really need my bros right now, thank god i got acap and harith and edz, and muhaimin, to cheer me up at school or something... know they arent the best at talking bout girl issues, but they cheer me up and forget bout stuff, they cheered me up more than anyone else, well the good thing is im concentrating more and more on studies, its going smooth and i feel like i can score, but the bad thing is, i feel lonely as fuck, everybody just left me liddat, cept for my bros, thats why i would prefer them, then the interact friends that are so into popularity and all that shit.. i prefer talking to them, then talking to my crush, or my gf, or my ex... or any girl for that matter... my friend is like loosing and we're laughing together xD i died, thats why im writing this .__. but yeah, no one can overcome how close i am to my guy friends rather than girls, soo, if the girls wanna just leave me out on anything, thats fine, im already lonely as fuck, and im not surprised if more and more people forget bout me, i just need my bro's.. and my sisters.. i dont expect u to understand, but if u do then thanks, u dont have to talk to me with ur short texts, i wont waste ur credit, so yeah... my friends doing great, his macro and micro starting to buck up.. still have that sad feeling.. but yeah life aint a bed of roses, they still have thorns in them... first update since UK, so really.. i just quit interact cuz i duwanna feel lonely anymore, make friends in interact then they just ignore me and all.. but hey, i dont mind.. like my mom said.. don't make friends important, be selfish sometimes, ur friends will not always be there for you when u need them, go on by ur own and on ur own to accomplish ur future, and my mom when she scolds me for being out with friends too much, she always asks me "Will davina and all those friends be there for you in the future?" i know the answer is no.. but i just didnt wanna make a fool of myself, if ur saying im too mean, then do so, cuz right now the only ones i call friends are the ones i meet in school everyday, and they guys i meet at tuition, the ones that pick me up when im down..